Quotes of happiness

By popular demand - meaning Ellene's request - I (Melanie) will now proceed to post my happy quotes, mostly from session or other Francis get-togethers, with a smattering of other happiness thrown in!  Enjoy the silliness!  Except for Ellene, who couldn't open it, all the Franciscans should have it in their BUBBS inbox or in Francis Chatter... but anyway, here it is and here it shall remain without contributing to any low space limits!  And yes, it is long.  This is because we had a lot of fun!  :)

“I’m a comma-happy lunatic.”  -Sam

“I’m an ideal Nietzschean woman.” –Sam

“My leg is a child of God!” –Dr. Jensen

“You got forty parking tickets and then you got hit by a car.  The tickets are no longer in effect because you’re dead.” –Dr. Jensen

“When I went in there, I liked the Bible and my classmates; now I hate them both.”  -Dr. Sanders

“What are you doing here?  You belong in the land of green chosenness.”  -Dr. Sanders

“So I just had to get my heresy in for the day, I’m good now.” –Evan

“Obviously I can’t reach out and poke the hate.” –Sarah P.

“You can’t get much more dead than decapitated.”  -Dr. Sanders

“The devil – not the devil – the gospel – “ –Dr. Jensen

“I hate you, Socrates.  Go away!”  -Miss Howington

“Why should I believe that misery craves mercy?  Because they both start with m!”  -Miss Schubert

“Aw, drat.  Your little man won out.” –Sarah P., to Melanie

“There’s somethin’ scratchin’ around in my barn.  It’s obviously either a possum or a dragon.” –Dr. Sanders

“These quotes are delicious, just like synaesthesia!” –James

"Angels do pick up hills and chuck 'em."  -Megan

"...or we're flogging a dead fairy horse." –Dr. Sanders

"These people are rectangular, these people are circular." –Dr. Sanders

"Even if she's wisdom on divine caffeine..." –Dr. Sanders?

"God is a carrot." -Megan

“(Insert name of male university faculty member here) is pretty adorable, I guess."
"Yes, some guys are adorable." -Evan

"Some of the things you say are helpful.  Half of them aren't..." –Ellene?

For this next one, keep in mind that the antecedent of this is water:
"Think of this as the bubonic plague."  -Evan
Yes, that's right - think of water as the bubonic plague.  That's really what he said.

"And the fact that all my skin is falling off." -Evan

"There's a line in hell about that." 
(OK, actually, the punctuation should be "in Hell"... oh well.)

"That was you making the damned jokes."
(referring to a comment in class about "all those damned souls" - meant literally, of course.)

"Except that I'm a fool.  But that's OK." -Evan

"If you eat oatmeal I promise you you will be alive." -Ellene

"There comes a point in every man's life when he needs to stop doing calc and go to bed." –Evan   (Ah, ain't that the truth.)

"I was making a chart of hell and I didn't finish." –me

"My favorite number is pi + i because it's kind of like me: It's complex; it has rational and irrational parts; and the rational part is imaginary." -Peter

"Make me a channel of Your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

O Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul."

-Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi


"Oh! Green. Purple. God. That's cool." -Dr. Peters

"In Torrey, we make it less likely you'll be happy - unless you want to be Happy." -Dr. Reynolds

"I am mud! I writhe!" -Marcy

"Think of this [water] as the bubonic plague." -Evan

"I love you. I don't want to take anything anymore. I don't want to trample anything ever again. I did wish that you would stick with me wherever I ended up, but I don't wish that anymore. I couldn't possibly wish my fate on you. I won't wish it. But please... at least... at least, during the time I have left... I want -- I want to be near you until the time when I must go away. I want to be with you till the end."
--Kyo Sohma, Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya

"Je suis, ergo sum." -Moon, The Real Inspector Hound

From Heretics by G.K. Chesterton:

"It is inspiring without doubt to whizz in a motor-car round the earth, to feel Arabia as a whirl of sand or China as a flash of rice-fields. But Arabia is not a whirl of sand and China is not a flash of rice-fields. They are ancient civilizations with strange virtues buried like treasures. If we wish to understand them it must not be as tourists or inquirers, it must be with the loyalty of children and the great patience of poets. To conquer these places is to lose them. The man standing in his own kitchen-garden, with fairyland opening at the gate, is the man with large ideas. His mind creates distance; the motor-car stupidly destroys it."

"Blasphemy depends upon belief and is fading with it. If anyone doubts this, let him sit down seriously and try to think blasphemous thoughts about Thor. I think his family will find him at the end of the day in a state of some exhaustion."

"We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next-door neighbour. Hence he comes to us clad in all the careless terrors of nature; he is as strange as the stars, as reckless and indifferent as the rain. He is Man, the most terrible of the beasts. That is why the old religions and the old scriptural language showed so sharp a wisdom when they spoke, not of one's duty towards humanity, but one's duty towards one's neighbor. The duty towards humanity may often take the form of some choice which is personal or even pleasurable. . . . But we have to love our neighbor because he is there - a much more alarming reason for a much more serious operation. He is the sample of humanity which is actually given us."

“I'm not sure how to spit this section up although it does seem that some needs to go in each part...” –Sarah P.

“An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.” –Steven Colbert

“If you get lost, try going to the other side of the planet.”  -a sign in Super Mario Galaxy

“so, theoretically, I'm in favor of a public spectacle of gory butchery, but practically, I'm against the death penalty.”  -Chris

“yet another way that those barbaric Biolans need to be taught how to properly kidnap someone…” –Chris

Genesis 1-11 session, August 28^th:

Dr. Sanders:  “It’s more containerological.”

Dr. Yeh:  “I’m slowly erasing the cosmos.”

Dr. Sanders:  “Could Adam have made a mistake?  Like here comes a snake, and Adam names it a wombat?”

(speaking as Adam and God respectively) “ ‘Bitey?’ ‘The last one was Bitey.’ ‘All right, Bitey Two.’ ”

“What about the God of Bobby the Philistine?”

“The Sonless God and the Sonful God can’t be the same person.”

“It’s not a swamp of nasty idolatry, it’s just a channel toward the real God.”

"I got some bad news for you, lady. The universe doesn't give a rip about you. It's gonna grind you under its mechanistic heel."

Sam:  “Here’s the nightly God broadcast.”  Dr. Sanders:  “Yeah, and it’s equally available to all human beings – both human beings – on earth.”

Evan:  “Do not eat that tree.”  Hannah:  “The whole tree – don’t eat it.”

Timaeus session 1, September 2^nd:

Dr. Spears?:  “I now know that I don’t know.”

“but it’s really a sort of giant intellectual tank trap.”

(singing) “One of these is not like the others.  Only a boy tree frog knows.”

Me:  “We mixed Same and Different.  It was hard.”

Timaeus session 2, September 4^th:

Dr. Reynolds:  “Never marry the guy who can’t smile about the Christmas candle.”

“It’s just dumb.  You should get drunk and make it go away.”

“So Plato’s singing (sings), ‘It’s a jolly holiday with Moses!’ “

“Ha ha, you’re taking this worthless money!  I’ve fooled you again!”

Aristotle session 1, September 9^th:

Megan:  “Principle of pre-stuff.  Stuff is the stuff.”

Dr. Sanders:  "If God made something from nothing, where did He get the nothing?"

“When I say the inferno I don’t mean Dante’s work, I mean hell.”

On why everything changes except Aristotle’s ideas:  “ ‘Cause his ideas are nothing in particular.”

“If you try hard enough, you can be anything you can be!”

“It’s kind of sad how much you lose when you become a horse.”

Aristotle session 2, September 11^th:

“cow-apult”

“cattle-pult”

Rachael:  “No, you giggle while you’re dying.”

Dr. Jenson: "The bear habitat that I am going to build in the alley behind my house..."

Megan: "And the tumor turns into the earth!"

Aquinas session, September 18^th:

Sam:  “That’s not blue!  False advertising!”  Dr. Campbell:  “We just wanted to see a big strong man write in purple.”

Dr. Campbell (as a fake pull question):  “If you take all the atoms out of a rock, do you still have a rock?”

Megan:  "So He creates His creation machine and then plugs it into Himself?"

Bacon session 1, September 23^rd:

Evan:  “Jesus loves you [Morgan House, compared to Gentiles] too, just through us [Johnson House, compared to Jews].”  *Dr. Yeh makes a comment about the “heresy meter.”*

Evan: "Socrates was the master ninja of deduction."

and a little later... 

"I mean, Jesus was a ninja."

Bacon session 2, September 25^th:

Sam: "Wait, we just went from natural philosophy to Ratatouille..." Me: "...in about five..." Me and Rachael: "...seconds."

Evan:  “I’m used to being attacked by lots of girls at once.”

Newton session, September 30^th:

Miss Hocke:  “What happens if the fixed stars move?”  Mary:  “Then we all die!”

Traherne session 1, October 2^nd:

Sam:  “The liver’s pretty cool.  This is way cooler.”

Traherne session 2, October 7^th:

“post prandial perseflage”

?: “I miss Mr. Plato.  Where is he?” Hannah:  “He got a job!”  ?: “What?”

Dr. Yeh:  “Yes, Felix the Cat means Happy Cat.”

“Let’s go to the third century.  Every time I say that I feel like I’m traveling through time.”

Colleen:  “I don’t remember anything you said.  I am so sorry.”

Edwards session, October 9^th:

Dr. Sanders:  “There’s the world.  It’s like a grid.”

“God’s got a lot of potential.”

Sarah R.:  “No, He’s not lonely!  He’s got the triangle!”

Dr. Sanders:  “Whatever the Father does with the Son, it won’t scratch the same itch as creation.”

“Like one of those chocolate fountains – the greatest possible good.”

“Mr. Freeman was talking smack about how the Son was too weak to beget the Father.”

Haydn session, October 14^th:

? (sniggering):  “It’s [the cow is] so stupid!”  (Miss Schubert wants a more charitable description.)  Mary:  “It’s kinda slow.”

Blake session, October 28^th:

Mary:  “I wish he were still alive, so we could say, ‘Blake, what were you thinking?’ “  Vicki:  “ ‘What were you taking?’ “  Rachael (laughing):  “She has hit the hammer on the nail.”

Prelude session 2, November 4^th:

Lydia:  “I love sunrises.”  Dr. Sanders:  “But look what it… It burns away the imagination!”

Dr. Sanders:  “I was reading from the yada-yada version.  Blah blah blah is a later rendition.”

“Fairly precise about what he’s ambiguous about”

Emerson session, November 6^th:

(Hannah describes an old conversation)  Hannah:  “I have a tension headache.”  Hannah’s roommate:  “I have attention deficit disorder.”

Moby-Dick session 1, November 11^th:

Dr. Vincent:  “Master it?  I thought he tried to kiss it.”  Rachael:  “Close enough.”

Darwin session 1, November 18^th:

?:  “Maybe the girls don’t like long necks.”

Megan:  “Man wants to put himself up there where Hitler is.”

Darwin session 2, November 25^th:

Dr. Sanders:  “I’m from the South, I don’t know if all Yankees know about lard.”

“He wrote a book called Origin of Species where you can’t tell what a species is.”

Frost session, December 2^nd:

Miss Schubert:  “What human hibernates?”  Megan:  “It’s a lifestyle choice.”

…and I seem to have slacked off on writing quotes for our Ezekiel sessions – however…

Ezekiel session 2, December 11^th:

Me (singing to the tune of “Father Abraham”):  “Ezekiel’s temple / Had many cubits / Many cubits had Ezekiel’s temple / I am one of them / And so are you / So let’s just praise the Lord! / One cubit …”

Morgan House sessions:

Aw, man, looks like I was really lazy about writing down quotes on Fridays!  But here are a couple…

Edwards session 1, September 12^th:

Dr. Sanders:  “Dan and Ed’s Excellency Adventure”  (Dan = Dante, Ed = Edwards)

Blake session, October 3^rd:

Mary:  “Poetic genius is electricity.”

Dr. Campbell:  “I’m just reading Blake, the same way you’re reading Blake, which is, ‘What are you saying, Blake?’ ”

Context lectures:

           

            “Intro to Greek Philosophy,” Dr. Reynolds, September 11^th:

            “It’s like trying to marry Sauron and ending up with Gollum.  It’d be OK if you were the Dark Lord…”

            “Protestants in Purgatory,” Dr. Sanders, September 30^th:

“Not only did I slap Brother Odo that time, but I always want to slap Brother Odo.”

“The smokers have the third level.” … “No, no, smoking doesn’t send you to hell, it just makes you smell like you came from there.”

Ezekiel context lecture, Dr. Sanders, December 4^th:

“Hebrews is basically the writer holding the Old Testament and shouting ‘JESUS’ at it.”

Other times:

Lydia, in the circuits lab, doing Classical Mechanics homework:  “Newton, why weren’t you just stupid?”

One night in the Circuits lab…:

Me:  “You don’t expect to have something that we can see from earth named after you, do you?”  Lydia:  “Well, only on very special occasions.”

Lydia:  “Well, that explains a lot.  People from Washington are on the moon.”

Sarah P.:  “The moon makes a very loud noise when you hit it.”

Lydia: “I have moon dust all over my hands, actually.”

Sarah:  “Smart people never die.  They simply move to the moon.”

At a certain party…:

Kate, to Sam:  “You’re not Cleopatra, are you?”

Ellene:  “I am crazed!  I’m so excited!”

Lydia and Shaya in tandem:  “Oh!  Oh! I know!  How about if you fall down on the beach with someone to pick you up with fireworks and a full moon and red roses!”

Me to Sam:  “I wish you could get manly and emotional.”

Janelle, in Facebook chat, about Mrs. Rinks:  “you know at night she went zzzz....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...zzzz”

Me, in Facebook chat, to Chris, summarizing our day’s conversation:  “You will take advantage of your boringly monocultural kids to have people to play oldstyle roleplaying games with, and along the way you will master trig and calc for a second time, eat Fuji apples, train your cats to speak Russian, and complain about this sentence. :)”

And that is all the quotes I have for you today, though not all the quotes I've got somewhere!